TransReactions I
I just thought I'd collect some reactions that have stood out in the four months that I've started living full-time, outside of work. I'll add italics where needed, to add context.
I tend to pass reasonably well now -- on my good days, no one can tell and even my voice sometimes doesn't throw them off; on my bad days, about half of the people around me can "read" me. It's an interesting mix of reactions from people, when they do. Sometimes it's as simple as a distasteful snarl of the nose or widening of the eyelids or a warming smile, but sometimes the reactions are more noteworthy.
Also included are reactions from people when I've come out to them.
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Pharmacist at London Drugs, when I went as female in to pick up my prescription written up in my male name: "You're picking up for someone else?"
Me: "No"
Pharmacist: "Well, this can't be..." (it was about this time that he looked at the prescription and read "Premarin," making the connection. He was still nice to me after that. This was a far better reaction than when I first had this prescription filled in boy-mode, and a different pharmacist was reading the list of precautions to me... he reached the part where it read "may increase bust size," the realization hit him, and he immediately dropped the prescription on the counter, and rang it in the till without looking or talking to me. I had to read the total from the debit screen).
One of my staff, M, when I had to make an unexpected stop at the store before I was "out" to my staff: "Hi, W. Nice hair."
M the next day, when we were more able to talk about it: "I hope you're not worried that what happened is going to change my opinion of you...."
Sweet kid.
WalMart security, about a minute and a half after I'd stopped a WalMart staffer and asked for directions: "We're going to have to ask you to leave...."
While I was still not "out" at work, I avoided shopping close to home, in case staff or local customers would see and recognize me. One exception I made was the CD Plus store in Londonderry Mall. I'd gone there a couple of times as female in the weeks earlier, and then one afternoon, not thinking, stopped in after work, in boy mode. One of the clerks immediately swooped around me to ask if I needed help, and after I'd said "just looking," he still hovered nearby, trying to look inconspicuous. When I went to buy something, he drifted over to the till, and I noticed him trying to get a peek at the debit card I was using (I have an old old TD debit card that I haven't replaced, because all the new cards get names stamped on them). As I turned to leave, I heard the following exchange with another clerk:
Him: That is her! That is so her! That's the girl I was telling you about!"
Other clerk: Who, him?
Him: Yeah, her!
This one really made me feel good. Here I was in boy-mode, and he was still calling me a "her." Not only that, he corrected his friend on it. Someone gets it!
Medicenter doctor (66th St. and Fort Road): "Well, it's definitely an ear infection. What medications are you currently taking?"
Me: "Lorazepam on occasion, plus Cyproterone and, um, Premarin."
Medicenter doctor: (long pause) Um, no. (another pause) No. You're going to have to see someone else.
At this, he left, and another nurse appeared after a minute or so and told me that because I had refused to see that doctor (somehow thinking it was the other way around), I would have to rejoin the queue -- it had already taken me 3 hours in that queue to get in, in the first place. I left.
The reactions at the Edmonton Downtown Police station were more visual than dialogue-noteworthy on the three points of contact I had with them. I went in the first time to get the fingerprinting done that I would need to do my legal name change, having been told on the phone that I didn't need an appointment. Well, as it turns out, I did need an appointment, and so I had to leave the first time, call to make an appointment, and then returned on the appropriate day. In both visits plus the call for appointment, there was a definite shift in attitude. In each of the three times, the people I spoke with started out a little snarky and disinterested... or more likely jaded. I'm guessing that many of the people they see about legal name changes are people they tend to instantly feel distrust for or cynicism. Anyway, in all three cases, once the people found out that I was changing gender, they were all surprised and were instantly warmer toward me.
More reactions to follow, as I chronicle the reactions of people at work, during my coming-out....
I tend to pass reasonably well now -- on my good days, no one can tell and even my voice sometimes doesn't throw them off; on my bad days, about half of the people around me can "read" me. It's an interesting mix of reactions from people, when they do. Sometimes it's as simple as a distasteful snarl of the nose or widening of the eyelids or a warming smile, but sometimes the reactions are more noteworthy.
Also included are reactions from people when I've come out to them.
------------------------------------------------------------------
Pharmacist at London Drugs, when I went as female in to pick up my prescription written up in my male name: "You're picking up for someone else?"
Me: "No"
Pharmacist: "Well, this can't be..." (it was about this time that he looked at the prescription and read "Premarin," making the connection. He was still nice to me after that. This was a far better reaction than when I first had this prescription filled in boy-mode, and a different pharmacist was reading the list of precautions to me... he reached the part where it read "may increase bust size," the realization hit him, and he immediately dropped the prescription on the counter, and rang it in the till without looking or talking to me. I had to read the total from the debit screen).
One of my staff, M, when I had to make an unexpected stop at the store before I was "out" to my staff: "Hi, W. Nice hair."
M the next day, when we were more able to talk about it: "I hope you're not worried that what happened is going to change my opinion of you...."
Sweet kid.
WalMart security, about a minute and a half after I'd stopped a WalMart staffer and asked for directions: "We're going to have to ask you to leave...."
While I was still not "out" at work, I avoided shopping close to home, in case staff or local customers would see and recognize me. One exception I made was the CD Plus store in Londonderry Mall. I'd gone there a couple of times as female in the weeks earlier, and then one afternoon, not thinking, stopped in after work, in boy mode. One of the clerks immediately swooped around me to ask if I needed help, and after I'd said "just looking," he still hovered nearby, trying to look inconspicuous. When I went to buy something, he drifted over to the till, and I noticed him trying to get a peek at the debit card I was using (I have an old old TD debit card that I haven't replaced, because all the new cards get names stamped on them). As I turned to leave, I heard the following exchange with another clerk:
Him: That is her! That is so her! That's the girl I was telling you about!"
Other clerk: Who, him?
Him: Yeah, her!
This one really made me feel good. Here I was in boy-mode, and he was still calling me a "her." Not only that, he corrected his friend on it. Someone gets it!
Medicenter doctor (66th St. and Fort Road): "Well, it's definitely an ear infection. What medications are you currently taking?"
Me: "Lorazepam on occasion, plus Cyproterone and, um, Premarin."
Medicenter doctor: (long pause) Um, no. (another pause) No. You're going to have to see someone else.
At this, he left, and another nurse appeared after a minute or so and told me that because I had refused to see that doctor (somehow thinking it was the other way around), I would have to rejoin the queue -- it had already taken me 3 hours in that queue to get in, in the first place. I left.
The reactions at the Edmonton Downtown Police station were more visual than dialogue-noteworthy on the three points of contact I had with them. I went in the first time to get the fingerprinting done that I would need to do my legal name change, having been told on the phone that I didn't need an appointment. Well, as it turns out, I did need an appointment, and so I had to leave the first time, call to make an appointment, and then returned on the appropriate day. In both visits plus the call for appointment, there was a definite shift in attitude. In each of the three times, the people I spoke with started out a little snarky and disinterested... or more likely jaded. I'm guessing that many of the people they see about legal name changes are people they tend to instantly feel distrust for or cynicism. Anyway, in all three cases, once the people found out that I was changing gender, they were all surprised and were instantly warmer toward me.
More reactions to follow, as I chronicle the reactions of people at work, during my coming-out....
posted by Mercedes Allen at 5:20 PM
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